Friday, June 5, 2009
Birds of a feather flock together.
I'm a joiner.
One of the great pleasures in my life is to find like-minded folks to hang out with. Whatever I'm interested in, I like to find other people with whom to learn and share. Photography, writing, dog showing, quilting, homeschooling, and, most significantly, church, are all examples of groups I've had a kinship with. There are so many wonderful benefits from rubbing elbows with other individuals passionate about the same things you are.
In the last few months, it seems I've become 'unflocked.'
Like a pair of pants that are too loose or too tight, three specific groups I've been a part of for years no longer seem to fit me anymore. In some cases, I've changed. In others, the group has morphed.
The result is the same, however. I'm flying solo more often than not...and that's okay. I'm old enough (sigh) and experienced enough to realize God sometimes moves us from our cozy comfort spots into new areas. It's feeling a little like that for me. Each of these groups has been inspiring, encouraging, educational, motivating, uplifting, and just plain fun. This is simply a phase and a transition. This too shall pass. Some day soon I'll be volunteering to take on a roll that will consume me and be a benefit to others and I'll be right back in the middle of the flock. But, not today.
Kinda reminds me of root pruning. When a gardener decides to transplant a shrub, she often root prunes...that is, taking a shovel and cutting a circle around the plant along the line where she will eventually dig. The idea is to sever the plant from roots outside the circle and force the shrub to grow some new roots within the circle. A few months later, when the gardener actually digs up the plant, there will be more roots to make the move, insuring a better chance for survival.
While I don't feel lonely, exactly, I am intrigued by how other people are handling this. Some people that I thought were geninue friends, aren't. It seems I was a friend only while conveniently close or flying in formation. I gotta tell ya, I've bled a bit over this. The real, true friends have made themselves abundantly clear, too, and that's a comfort.
All this unflocking frees me up. Instead of pouring my efforts and energy into church programs (wonderful though they may be) or being an officer on the board of my writing group or evaluating curriculum with other homeschool moms, I'm going to spend time getting back to the basics. A direct relationship with God. A chance to write. An opportunity to work on my projects without committments to other people taking over my time.
It sounds selfish.
And it is to a certain extent.
So be it. I simply don't have the energy to change it at the moment. In fact, it may be that I'm supposed to be spending this time growing more roots inside the circle in preparation for something new on the horizon.
Kinda exciting, huh?