Unflocking...

Birds of a feather flock together.

I'm a joiner.

One of the great pleasures in my life is to find like-minded folks to hang out with. Whatever I'm interested in, I like to find other people with whom to learn and share. Photography, writing, dog showing, quilting, homeschooling, and, most significantly, church, are all examples of groups I've had a kinship with. There are so many wonderful benefits from rubbing elbows with other individuals passionate about the same things you are.

In the last few months, it seems I've become 'unflocked.'

Like a pair of pants that are too loose or too tight, three specific groups I've been a part of for years no longer seem to fit me anymore. In some cases, I've changed. In others, the group has morphed.

The result is the same, however. I'm flying solo more often than not...and that's okay. I'm old enough (sigh) and experienced enough to realize God sometimes moves us from our cozy comfort spots into new areas. It's feeling a little like that for me. Each of these groups has been inspiring, encouraging, educational, motivating, uplifting, and just plain fun. This is simply a phase and a transition. This too shall pass. Some day soon I'll be volunteering to take on a roll that will consume me and be a benefit to others and I'll be right back in the middle of the flock. But, not today.

Kinda reminds me of root pruning. When a gardener decides to transplant a shrub, she often root prunes...that is, taking a shovel and cutting a circle around the plant along the line where she will eventually dig. The idea is to sever the plant from roots outside the circle and force the shrub to grow some new roots within the circle. A few months later, when the gardener actually digs up the plant, there will be more roots to make the move, insuring a better chance for survival.

While I don't feel lonely, exactly, I am intrigued by how other people are handling this. Some people that I thought were geninue friends, aren't. It seems I was a friend only while conveniently close or flying in formation. I gotta tell ya, I've bled a bit over this. The real, true friends have made themselves abundantly clear, too, and that's a comfort.

All this unflocking frees me up. Instead of pouring my efforts and energy into church programs (wonderful though they may be) or being an officer on the board of my writing group or evaluating curriculum with other homeschool moms, I'm going to spend time getting back to the basics. A direct relationship with God. A chance to write. An opportunity to work on my projects without committments to other people taking over my time.

It sounds selfish.

And it is to a certain extent.

So be it. I simply don't have the energy to change it at the moment. In fact, it may be that I'm supposed to be spending this time growing more roots inside the circle in preparation for something new on the horizon.

Kinda exciting, huh?

How Do You Accept Critique?

Time after time in my writer's group, I've seen it.

The stunned, baffled, and eventually muley look that says I can't believe y'all don't get how brilliant I am. We see it most often on a new member. Some one who says they want feedback and information on their writing, but secretly knows we will swoon with admiration the minute we hear their poetry or prose.

It's often a rude awakening to find out that most of us are swoon proof.

We are kind. We applaud the effort, but we offer--gently--truth.

As I watched the auditions for American Idol this year, I was struck again by how unprepared we are to accept honest feedback and simple critique. After being given a no by the professional judges, too many contestants begged for them to change their minds. Begged, especially in a whiny voice....Please, please, please, puleezzzeee...until *I* cringed in horror.

And had to laugh out loud when Simon or Kara asked a contestant who told you you could sing? Only to have the singer reply with 'My mom. My friends.' I wish I'd kept count of the times some one said this.

Note to creative souls....your Mama loves you. She believes everything you do is golden. And rightly so. You are her creation, after all. However, she may be just a tad prejudiced.

Just a tad.

The same with your friends. Here, though, I'll allow that most people don't know how to offer negative feedback. They don't want to hurt your feelings or damage your friendship. Telling a friend that you think they don't have a good voice or an artistic eye or a great garden plan is hard. For one thing, it is your opinion. It is likely that you are just as wrong as can be because you aren't an expert in the field. Secondly, no one wants the hurt feelings thing to follow them. Creative Souls are creative, sensitive, and artistic. In other words, we bleed with ease.

Taking the steps toward making your artistic life into a professional one demands you learn to listen to hard stuff.

One of my favorite rules in my writer's group is our 'no defending' rule. After you've read your piece for the evening, you must zip your lips and listen to the verbal feedback. No defending means not 'explaining' to the doofuses who didn't 'get' it. If you have to explain, your writing wasn't clear. After all, once your book is on the shelves of Barnes and Noble, there is no author standing nearby to explain passages. No sputtering...'but, but, but.....' No pleading 'please, please, please....' And certainly no bad mouthing the person offering critique.

There's been times when I vehemently disagreed with what someone said about my writing. The no defending rule kept my mouth shut tight. Remarkably, after a few day's perspective, I was able to see that just maybe that person had a point. If more than one person said the same thing, then I realized my writing had a problem I needed to fix. I won't even tell you about the blood bath that is professional photography competitions. Ouch.

Finding people who will be honest with you is an effort worth taking. Take a look around you. Who will offer you unvarnished truth? Value these folks. Especially if they are in your field. They are worth gold to you in your pursuit of excellence.

And don't you dare whine when something negative comes your way. Professionals don't whine. They go home and work even harder.

Now, go out and create something incredible so we can all tell you how genuinely wonderful you are.

Ta-Da Friday

An abbreviated Ta-Da Friday....

Despite a packed schedule, I made it to my writer's group this week to feast on their words, images, and ideas. Their joy in the struggle to write wonderful, publishable works inspires me like very few other things.

More later....we are at the regional homeschool baseball tournament....two more wins and our team can go to Florida for the national World Series tournament...

Encouragement

Fumes.

Only echoes in the gas tank.

I was running on empty. The energy tank on my current work in progress was dry. Ideas for the story are here in my head, but there was no power to find the words to express them.

So I took one short scene to read to my writer's group last night. Wow, what a boost. The critique pointed out what worked in the scene and what didn't. My new character was well received. And people got how my main character is feeling. Always valuable information. Even knowing what doesn't work within the piece is refreshing. I mean, I knew it in my gut. Now I really know it. And I have specific things to fix and polish.

More than that was the chance to rub elbows with like minded folks. A conversation with a friend whose writing is going well, words flowing out of her like a river. The chance to hear of a newly published author's book signing adventures. The chance to hear fiction in progress from others with the opportunity to flex my own creative critique muscles to aid them as they've have helped me.

A recent article in U.S. News and World Report revealed that we are more creative in groups. Especially groups where ideas can flow without censor. The best thing about my writer's group is that whatever I bring to read is taken seriously. Whether it is fiction, fanfiction, poetry, a magazine article, or an opinionated essay, the words are treated with respect. Everyone tries to offer advice that improves the work. Effort is applauded. Our mutual goal is creating writing that sells.

One thing is for sure, going to those meetings, hanging out with other writers, and bouncing words and ideas off them certainly fills up my creative gas tank.